Friendship: Relax Relationship

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I've been spending some amount of time in my thinking to explain to myself what a friend is, and is not. Friendship is the bigger statement. Lots of people are lovers but aren't friends. Lots of people are relatives and aren't friends. Lots of people work together who aren't friends. You can appreciate or admire someone, but that doesn't make them a friend.

We're take friendship as a casual word, but sometimes things happen that take the casualness out of it. When I had my near-death experience last year and the following long recuperation, I had a lot of time to think about what makes someone a friend. If they are scared of you when you need help, sorry, that's not friendship. If their attitude is "for better or worse," if they stick by you through thick and thin, that's when you can tell it's friendship. I do have some friends, but not as many as I thought.

My uncle used to say no matter what your family is there for you when you need them. Last time we talked about this, after my catastrophe, I said him "we know that's not true." And there was a time, when he really needed me that I didn't come through for him. I remember hanging out in my happy suburban house, with the statuesque friend, and the freshly minted fortune, and not getting on a damned plane to help him through the loss of his GF. Luckily I did get to apologize for that, in this lifetime. As always, with me at least, he didn't bear a grudge, he just waved it off as not important.

Most people use the term Friend far too casually. But if they had reason to pause, to think if so and so is really a friend, they would realize they either don't know (the relationship hasn't been tested), or they are not.

I don't have a tidy answer about me and friendship. Sometimes we were friends, and other times, clearly, not. But I guess there's something remarkable in two people overcoming the barriers to friendship that family imposes, especially one as brutal as ours, to find some real communication at some point. Just to connect, for just a few moments, is rare, exceptionally rare.

By: miss contingency
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