Confusing Choice

Ever since I passed my +2 exams, I have found myself in dilemma. The tough question has been how I should proceed and what I should study now. After passing S.L.C., I decided to join Humanities stream to study journalism. My clear intention was to become a journalist one day. However, after two years I find myself again asking the same questions again and again. That clear intention is now being blurred. Sometimes I feel I should join social sciences, sometimes development studies, sometimes environmental sciences; and again there's a question of courses available in Nepal. From beginning of my +2 days, I always said that I'll continue my studies here in Nepal and won't go abroad. So I didn't do TOEFL, SAT, IELTS or whatever though my friends and family insisted. I always ignored them and told them I'll stay here in Nepal.

You may wonder why I am confused though I've already decided to study journalism. Well due to conflict and restriction on free press this field is becoming more and more insecure and less fruitful. This is what my parents think. They don't want me to continue with journalism. I tried to pursued them but they shut their ears. Instead they started to brainwash me. And the result is confusion.

Everyone is confused. The moment has come to decide about their future and here confusion has gripped everyone. So to escape this confusion my friend Utsav has decided to join the army. He is as confused as I am. Sometimes he talks about joining photojournalism, and sometimes fine arts. His latest whim is joining the army. I don't know whether he'll join the army or not but definitely he has started to do physical training and I find myself giving him company and doing the same. Not to mention I have my own purpose to do so.

I was so confused about my future that one day I asked my brother if he also felt the same. The reply was yes and he told me that whatever I do I should analyze the situation and my heart. Though mom and dad pressed him to study MBBS he joined BBA and he's doing great now. So we should listen to our heart and should possess clear way to move ahead. After his advice, I made a decision to continue journalism. But again I find myself lost in confusion. Which college should I join? And which field should I go? Print media or electronic, reporting or production? I think confusion is going to be parennial problem.

Never mind, I'll decide one day and I know that day is coming soon. But again the main point is when that the day coming? Many of my friends have already decided about their future course. Some are going abroad, some are trying for MBBS, some BE, some BBA, BBS or the courses they choose. I did have clear plans and dreams but now all are blurred. And only God knows what my destiny will be. And I am relying on one silly phrase, "Whatever happens, happens for good." and my destiny will definitely lead me ahead. Adios.