Bitter Realities of Domestic Violence

"My husband tried to kill me by putting me on fire because I didn't follow his order to heat the food. Luckily my neighbors came in time. Otherwise I would have become dead. "

Srijana (Name changed) shared her painful story with tears in her eyes. She couldn't resist herself from crying while sharing her stories. Tears were tickling down through her chins and I was just speechless.

This is just a single case how domestic violence takes place in our society. Though the half sky of Nepal is covered by women, they are the ones who are assaulted or discriminate and made to suffer by their male partners. Home is the place where one feels safe and comfort but in many cases torture begins at home. Instead of protection they face torture and are abused. Either in the name of dowry, education, or any other excuses, women are made forced to suffer violence at home.

Domestic violence is a widespread but unreported problem in Nepal. Data on the issue is hard to come by, as there are very few studies on the subject. Many form of violence against women and girls are not even recognized as violence, but ignored or justified by quoting religious, cultural or traditional beliefs and practices. Legal and even judicial institutions fail to provide adequate safeguards for women and girls against violence. State institutions lack both the sensitivity and capacity to deal with gender-specific violence, and enforcing the law often fails. Judicial pronouncements have frequently reflected biases that indicate the strong influence of prevalent social attitudes. Women thus become victims not only of the violence they suffer, but also of social and legal attitudes, which are often indifferent to their plight and sometimes even hold them responsible for it. Such a trivialization of violence against women is due to the failure to recognize that it infringes on their right to life, to bodily security, and freedom from torture, to which all citizens are entitled.

While Nepali society upholds the chastity and virginity of girls as a measure of the ultimate prestige and dignity of a family, the socialization process encourages girls and women to become victims as it installs the values of suffering in silence, tolerance and non-retaliation in them. This is perhaps why cases of rape are under-reported in Nepal. Awareness is also extremely low so this remains the hidden problem of Nepal.

The majority of violence is non-fatal however health effects can last forever. Physically women may experience a vast range of injuries, many affecting their reproductive health, and increasing vulnerability to sexual dysfunction, HIV/AIDS and death. Psychologically, women may experience post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and even attempt suicide. Pregnant women are particularly vulnerable to gender based violence: Women who experience violence from their partners run twice the risk of miscarriage and four times the risk of having a low birth-weight baby. Although it is underreported, domestic violence may cause as mush disease, disability, and death as many other illnesses combined: gender based violence is itself a significant high-risk health factor for women of reproductive age.

Since the Maoist movement began in 1996, thousands of innocent men and women have been killed, critically injured or rendered homeless, and property worth millions has been destroyed. Looting, extortion, harassment, torture, seizure of home and land, rape and kidnapping are bitter realities in insurgency-affected areas. Women and children have no place to go for immediate relief and support. Women are the victims of mental and physical abuse, rape and other human right violations by both Maoists and government security forces.

There are no mechanism to rehabilitate, support or record the plight of these victims; and no information on the women who have joined the Maoist movement or on their condition. The worst affected areas are the remote villages of far western region. As most men in these areas have either been killed or have fled from their hometowns, the household burden of women has increased. In Nepal, where the social stigma on widowhood is high, women who lose their husbands in conflict suffer not only grief but also social exclusion, and less access to food, nourishment, and basic services for the rest of their lives.

Perpetrators of domestic violence are generally not prosecuted in the Nepali criminal justice system. The National Code does not require the state to prosecute the crime of assault. Accordingly, assault is usually left to private prosecution. The state prosecutes some assaults that disturb the public peace, as violations of a lesser, ancillary law. Because women lack the financial resources to seek private legal relief and given the non-public nature of most assaults on women, domestic violence has been relegated to a second class crime. Women rarely report incidents of domestic violence to the police. When a report is made, an arrest is very unlikely and police usually encourage the woman to reconcile with her partner. Unless domestic violence rises to the level of murder or attempted murder, state prosecutors will generally not pursue the cases.

Social, cultural, economic and religious factors reiterate male dominance and allow systematic discrimination and violence to pervade women’s lives. According to the Nepal Human Development Report 2004, women’s literacy rate is 35 per cent as compared 63 per cent for men; maternal mortality rates of Nepali women rank among the highest in the world; one out of every 185 women dies because of pregnancy and childbirth-related complications. Nepal has one of the highest indices of son preference in the world and estimates by local NGOs show organized gangs traffick some 5,000 to 12,000 Nepalese girls to work in brothels each year.

It is extremely difficult for a woman to prove that she is being abused within her home in Nepal. Women who do decide to come forth and demand justice face an uphill task. Unless community attitudes change and people recognize violence against women to be a crime, women will continue to suffer daily abuse at the hands of their partners and within their very homes.